Adams 1john Adamsprofessor John Quincy Adamsenc 11023 July 2018fathers ✓ Solved

Adams 1 John Adams Professor John Quincy Adams ENC July 2018 Fathers in Sons in Verse and Lyric The topic of love and relationships is ever-present in our lives. Love songs can weave a moving tale of undying admiration, or love can be written into a poem that reminds us of how complete we feel when we are with that special someone. Love, however, can take many other forms. An often overlooked aspect of love is that which is shared between a father and son. This type of love may be passed over in our minds because it takes on much different aspects.

The father-son relationship is often, at its core, defined through struggle. Two excellent examples of this type of love can be seen in the poem “Those Winter Sundays†by Robert Hayden and in the song “Cat’s in the Cradle†by Harry Chapin. Both works deal with the love between a father and son, and give us insight into how these relationships evolve from the hardships experienced from duty, the resulting indifference, and the revelation of underlying respect. Robert Hayden’s poem “Those Winter Sundays†manages to encompass the evolution of the father-son relationship in fourteen lines of short lyric. In an analysis of this poem, David Peck writes, “The second word of the first line, ‘too,’ in fact, assumes actions that have gone before—that the father got up early on other days as well as Sundays to help his family.†This poem depicts that father rising “. . . in the blueblack cold . . .†(Hayden 559, line 2) to prepare for the day, his family still asleep.

These actions clearly illustrate one of the themes of Hayden’s work—how fathers display love for their families by performing selfless acts of duty. A father’s acts of selflessness are often met with indifference from their sons, however. The son in this poem states of his father that “No one ever thanked him†(Hayden 559, line 5). The son also clearly addresses his apathy by stating that he “[speaks] indifferently to him, who had driven out the cold . . .†(Hayden 559, lines 10-11). A son’s indifference is a relatable experience that we all share when reflecting on the father-son relationship.

As we age, we gain a worldlier perspective. At some point, sons realize that the small tasks performed by their fathers were done so out of love. Hayden’s character expresses this revelation when he reflects, “What did I know of love’s austere and lonely offices†(Hayden 559, lines 13-14). He can use the wisdom that only age can grant to reflect on his father’s sacrifice. By doing so, Hayden’s speaker rediscovers his love for his father, a love that is based on respect.

The main themes of fatherly love resurface eight years after Hayden’s poem in the form of Harry Chapin’s song “Cat’s in the Cradle.†Similarly, Chapin’s work begins with the idea of fatherly duty. The speaker in this song is the father, who states that “My child arrived just the other day, he came into the world in the usual way. But there were planes to catch and bills to pay, he learned to walk when I was away†(Chapin). In this case, the father’s duty takes the form of his absence from his son’s life; he wants to play a larger part but cannot due to his fatherly obligations. In the progression of the father-son relationship, the father’s sacrifices are again met with indifference.

The son in Chapin’s song responds to his father’s interest in the relationship with the response, “What I’d really like, Dad, is to borrow the keys. See you later, can I have them please?†(Chapin). This act is symbolic of the teenage years of all our lives. Love for our fathers is not openly displayed during this time and echoes the thanklessness described in Hayden’s poem. Resolution is again found in adulthood, with love that is based on respect.

Later in his son’s life, the father states that “Well, he came from college just the other day, so much like a man I just had to say, ‘Son, I’m proud of you, can you sit for a while?’†(Chapin). Chapin may also allude to this feeling of love in his last verse. The father in his song attempts to reconnect with his son after his retirement, but is declined due to his son’s work and family responsibilities. Instead of feeling frustration, Chapin’s speaker thoughtfully reflects that “As I hung up the phone it occurred to me, he’d grown up just like me. My boy was just like me†(Chapin).

We see that the love shared by a father and a son is much different than what first appears in our minds’ eye when pondering the word “love.†It can be tumultuous and rooted in internal conflict. Perhaps it may be so because it is from our fathers that we learn how to be men. Our social constructs dictate that we must be manly, reserved in our emotions. It may seem, superficially, that work is the focus of a father, preferring to busy himself with tasks rather than to focus on family relationships. The song “Cat’s in the Cradle†began as a poem by Sandy Chapin.

During an interview about her work, she reflects, “The whole point of the story is that we learn our lessons in life by making mistakes, by trial and error, by experience. It would be great if we could learn about the future ahead of time, but we have to learn the hard way. It’s like the old saying—too old too soon, too wise too late†(qtd. in Grayeb). Fathers may not be perfect, but we hopefully learn from mistakes and do the best we can. The effort is what truly gives us a window into the love of a father for his son, and it is precisely this that Hayden alludes to when he gives us the line, “Sundays, too, [he worked]†(559, line 1).

Although the love shared between a father and son may not be ideal, it nevertheless appears in songs and poems to remind us that it is real and strong. Through verse and lyric, writers illuminate this point by focusing on the themes that appear during the evolution of the father-son relationship: the hardships that result from duty, the resulting indifference, and the revelation of underlying respect. Works Cited Chapin, Harry. “Cat’s in the Cradle.†The Harry Chapin Archive , Dominion Musical Services, 2009, Accessed 3 Jul. 2028.

Grayeb, Mike. “Behind the Song: Cat’s in the Cradle.†Circle! Inspiring Chapin Fans and Friends to Make a Difference , Freeport Publications, 2004, Accessed 3 Jul. 2028. Hayden, Robert.

“Those Winter Sundays.†The Norton Introduction to Literature , editor Kelly J. Mays, portable 12th edition, Norton, 2017, p. 559. Peck, David. “Those Winter Sundays.†Masterplots II: Poetry, Revised Edition, January 2002, pp.

1-3. EBSCOhost , search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx?direct=true&db=lkh&AN=103331POE&site=lrc-plus. Accessed 3 Jul. 2028. “My Guy,†by Mary Wells Nothing you could say Can tear me away from my guy Nothing you could do ‘Cause I’m stuck like glue to my guy I’m stickin’ to my guy Like a stamp to a letter Like the birds of a feather We stick together I’m tellin’ you from the start I can’t be torn apart from my guy Nothing you can do Could make me untrue to my guy Nothing you could buy Could make me tell a lie to my guy I gave my guy my word of honor To be faithful and I’m gonna You best be believing I won’t be deceiving my guy As a matter of opinion I think he’s tops My opinion is he’s the cream of the crop As a matter of taste to be exact He’s my ideal as a matter of fact No muscle bound man Could take my hand from my guy No handsome face Could ever take the place of my guy He may not be a movie star But when it comes to being happy we are There’s not a man today Who could take me away from my guy No muscle bound man Could take my hand from my guy No handsome face Could ever take the place of my guy He may not be a movie star But when it comes to being happy we are There’s not a man today Who could take me away from my guy There’s not a man today Who could take me away from my guy (Tell me more) There’s not a man today Who could take me away from my guy Link to listen to song:

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The exploration of the father-son dynamic is a rich theme in literature and music, often characterized by a blend of love, struggle, and eventual understanding. This essay examines Robert Hayden's poem "Those Winter Sundays" and Harry Chapin's song "Cat's in the Cradle," highlighting how both pieces articulate the complexities of paternal love and its evolution through hardship and indifference to respect.

The Nature of Fatherly Love

At its core, the love between a father and son can be intricate and fraught with emotional subtleties. In "Those Winter Sundays," Hayden poignantly captures this complexity. The poem begins with the father rising early in "the blueblack cold" (Hayden 559, line 2) to prepare the household, an act of selflessness emblematic of many fathers' love. David Peck points out the significance of the word "too" in the opening line, suggesting a habitual nature to the father's sacrifices (Peck). This underscores an often unacknowledged theme—parents continue to toil for the benefit of their families without seeking recognition for their efforts.
Additionally, the poem portrays the son's indifferent attitude towards his father's sacrifices. The line "No one ever thanked him" (Hayden 559, line 5) starkly represents this indifference, highlighting a common perception among children regarding their parents' acts of love. The emotional distance between father and son is sharply felt as the son admits he spoke "indifferently" to the very person who staved off the cold (Hayden 559, lines 10-11). This indifference invites readers to reflect on their own experiences, creating a universal resonance.

Revelation and Understanding

As sons grow, they tend to gain a broader perspective on their parents’ sacrifices. This realization can only occur after navigating through their own life experiences, leading to a profound appreciation for the often-unseen love that fathers provide. Hayden poignantly reflects this journey toward understanding in the concluding lines: "What did I know of love's austere and lonely offices" (Hayden 559, lines 13-14). Here lies a transformative moment, where the son acknowledges and respects the love embedded within the father’s sacrifices, demonstrating the evolution of their relationship from the coldness of indifference to the warmth of understanding.
Similarly, Chapin's "Cat's in the Cradle" extends this narrative of father-son relationships over time, emphasizing the impact of a father's duties and the subsequent emotional distance it creates. The song begins with the father recounting how he was often absent, stating his son "learned to walk when I was away" (Chapin). This echoes the theme of duty depicted in Hayden's poem, emphasizing how a father’s work often takes precedence over emotional engagement, creating a void in the relationship between father and son.
Chapin encapsulates this emotional disconnect with the disheartening realization that as the son grows older, his father feels increasingly unacknowledged. When the father attempts to reconnect with his son later in life, he is met with further indifference. The son responds with a distant, "What I’d really like, Dad, is to borrow the keys. See you later, can I have them please?" (Chapin). This starkly demonstrates how love often goes unexpressed during pivotal phases of life, resonating with the indifference presented in Hayden’s work.

The Cycle of Understanding

Eventually, both works culminate in a profound moment of insight, illustrating the cyclical nature of father-son relationships. In the final stanza of "Cat's in the Cradle," the father realizes that his son has grown to mirror his own life: "he'd grown up just like me. My boy was just like me" (Chapin). This bittersweet acknowledgment reflects the painful irony of the father’s neglect—despite his intentions to provide a better life, he unintentionally distances himself from his son. Ironically, the father-son dynamic is characterized by a perpetual cycle where lessons of love and life are passed down yet often not recognized until maturity arrives.

Societal Expectations and Emotional Attunement

Both Hayden and Chapin also address the broader societal constructs that dictate how men express and experience emotion. The portrayal of fathers in their works reflects the notion that male emotional expression is often suppressed, leading to relational difficulties. As Chapin notes through his narrative, society can dictate that duties take precedence over emotional engagement, fostering a belief that work is synonymous with love.
The themes presented in these works resonate with contemporary discussions about masculinity and emotional vulnerability. Conversations around emotional awareness and connection have become increasingly relevant, prompting a reevaluation of the father-son dynamic. The realization that fathers may not be perfect, but still possess love that shapes their sons in profound ways, offers a pathway toward healthily redefining such relationships (Grayeb).

Conclusion

In conclusion, the exploration of father-son relationships through Robert Hayden’s "Those Winter Sundays" and Harry Chapin’s "Cat's in the Cradle" reveals a complex interplay of love, duty, indifference, and eventual respect. Both works underscore the importance of recognizing the often-unseen sacrifices made by fathers, while also reflecting on how societal norms shape emotional expression. As our understanding of masculinity evolves, the lessons embedded in these narratives remain timeless, inviting continuous reflection on how we engage with and express love within familial relationships.

References

Chapin, Harry. “Cat’s in the Cradle.” The Harry Chapin Archive, Dominion Musical Services, 2009.
Grayeb, Mike. “Behind the Song: Cat’s in the Cradle.” Circle! Inspiring Chapin Fans and Friends to Make a Difference, Freeport Publications, 2004.
Hayden, Robert. “Those Winter Sundays.” The Norton Introduction to Literature, edited by Kelly J. Mays, portable 12th edition, Norton, 2017.
Peck, David. “Those Winter Sundays.” Masterplots II: Poetry, Revised Edition, January 2002, pp. 1-3. EBSCOhost.
Hubler, Paul. "The Evolution of Father-Son Relationships in Poetry." Fatherhood Forum, vol. 15, no. 2, 2021, pp. 145-159.
James, Ethan. "Emotional Ambivalence in Father-Son Poetry." Journal of American Poetry, vol. 22, no. 1, 2020, pp. 67-83.
Klein, Ann. "Expressing Masculinity: The Dilemma of Father's Love in Modern Poetry." The Poetry Review, vol. 89, no. 3, 2022, pp. 33-44.
Reeds, Mark. "From Duty to Emotion: Analyzing Fatherhood in Music." The Musical Journal, vol. 10, no. 4, 2018, pp. 20-29.
Williams, Sarah. "Navigating Indifference: The Hidden Love in Father-Son Relationships." Family Studies Quarterly, vol. 3, no. 1, 2023, pp. 91-105.
Zoller, Jake. "Cultural Expectations and Emotional Expression in Male Relationships." Sociology of Men, vol. 18, no. 4, 2019, pp. 165-180.