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I need suggestion - peer-review on this letter how to improve organized business

ID: 2740445 • Letter: I

Question

I need suggestion - peer-review on this letter how to improve organized business letter

Dear Mr. Sam:

Three Panasonic 55” televisions (model number: TC-P65ST60) that were delivered damaged, to the Target Facility in, Boston MA on January 21, 2013.

On January 21, 2013 our backroom team processed ten 55” Panasonic televisions we had ordered from your company a week prior. As the televisions were opened from the boxes and put on display, it was discovered by our electronics technicians that three of the ten televisions had minor cracks in the screen that prevented them from working properly.

Thankfully this minor issue was observed before the televisions were available for sale, and we did not lose out on any potential revenue. Since our company is not responsible for the transportation and delivery of your televisions to our store, it would be greatly appreciated if they could be replaced in the standard 5 business days.

Sincerely,

Mike Kallaghar

Store Team Leader

Explanation / Answer

In above Business letter some patrs are missing like Reference to order no./Invoice, Subject heading etc. I hereunder reproduced the above letter in orgnized manner.

To,

Panasonics

Address:-..............

Subject: Replacement of dameged product

Reference No;- Order no/Invoice no........

Dear Mr. Sam;

This is with reference to above sbject matter and reference we have received three Panasonic 55” televisions (model number: TC-P65ST60) that were delivered damaged, to the Target Facility in, Boston MA on January 21, 2013.

On January 21, 2013 our backroom team processed ten 55” Panasonic televisions we had ordered from your company a week prior. As the televisions were opened from the boxes and put on display, it was discovered by our electronics technicians that three of the ten televisions had minor cracks in the screen that prevented them from working properly.

Thankfully this minor issue was observed before the televisions were available for sale, and we did not lose out on any potential revenue. Since as per agreemet with your company our company is not responsible for the transportation and delivery of your televisions to our store, it would be greatly appreciated if they could be replaced in the standard 5 business days.

Sincerely,

Signature

Mike Kallaghar

Store Team Leader