Can someone correct this for me? My grammar isn\'t good In June 2014, I graduate
ID: 3147142 • Letter: C
Question
Can someone correct this for me? My grammar isn't good
In June 2014, I graduated from xxxx with a Bachelor’s Degree in Business, after transferring from xxxx in 2012 after obtaining my Associates Degree in Hospitality Management. When I first started at xxx it was a bit of a challenge for me because I hardly knew what I was doing. xxxx and xxxx we’re both online, but they both use different software for their online classes, so it took me some time to get used to the new environment.
When I graduated xxxx in 2014, I graduated with a 2.934-grade point average, and I am acutely aware that xxxx prefers students with at least a 3.0-grade point average for the Cyber Security Master’s program. During my first few years in college, everything was very new to me, I had no idea what I was doing, and I had no me guide me through the process since I was the first to pursue a college degree from my family. During my college years, I would say I’ve grown so many as a person. One advice I would give to anyone entering college to pursue a degree is to make sure you’re ready mentally and psychically, I wasn’t well prepared, but I had the determination and drive to keep pushing, even with all the obstacles life threw at me. I will always keep pushing and become a great investigator one day.
As far as my GPA, I had one particular semester where I performed horribly, my first semester at xxxx in January 2012, and I was already going through a lot since I had to get used to the new environment, my family was also going through a hard time. My grandma was very ill, and she only got eight weeks to live, she had kidney disease and heart failure, she was hospitalized for more than one month, where I took one of the biggest responsibilities of my life. I visited my grandmother every day to make sure she was fed and taken well care of; it was a lot of stress for me. I know, I could’ve dropped my classes, but I didn’t, I continued pushing like I always do, I’m a fighter, and I believe one must go for what you want. My GPA for the term was a 2.525, I was not too happy, but I was able to pass the semester, my lowest grade was a C- in Business Math. After about two months, my grandmother passed away, my heart was in pain, but I knew, I did everything I could do for her while she was alive, it was a relief. Losing someone you truly love is one of the worst pains ever, I don't ever want to see anyone going through that pain, but that's part of life and we have to accept things the way they get thrown at us.
Explanation / Answer
The changes has been made here,
After obtaining my Associates Degree in Hospitality Management in 2012 from xxxx. I graduated from xxxx with a Bachelor’s Degree in Business in June 2014. When I first started at xxx it was a bit of a challenge for me because I hardly knew what I was doing. xxxx and xxxx were both online but both of them use different software for their online classes. Hence it took me some time to get used to the new environment.
I graduated xxxx in 2014 with an average 2.934-grade point. As far as I know, xxxx prefers students with at least 3.0-grade point average for the Cyber Security Master’s program. During my first few years in college, everything was new to me and I had no idea what I was doing. I had no one to guide me through the process because I was the first to pursue a college degree from my family. During my college years, I would say that I have evolved as a person. I would advise anyone who is entering a college to pursue a degree, to make sure you’re mentally and psychically prepared. I wasn’t well prepared but I had the determination and drive to keep me pushing even with all the obstacles in my life. I will always work hard and become a great investigator some day.
As far as my GPA is concerned, I performed horribly in my first semester at xxxx in January 2012. I was already going through a lot since I had to get used to the new environment. My family was also going through a hard time as my grandma was in critical condition and she had only eight weeks to live because of her kidney disease and heart failure. She was hospitalized for more than a month so I had to take care of her and that was one of the biggest responsibilities of my life. I visited my grandmother every day to make sure that she was fed and taken well care of. It was a lot of stress for me as I have to manage between my family and my studies. I know, I could’ve dropped my classes, but I didn’t. I continued working as I always do. I’m a fighter and I believe one must go that far what they want. My GPA for the term was a 2.525. I was not happy but I was able to pass the semester. My lowest grade was a C- in Business Mathematics. About two months later, my grandmother passed away. I was in pain but knowing that I did everything I could do for her while she was alive, was a relief for me. Losing someone you truly love is one of the worst tragedies ever, I don't ever want to see anyone going through the same but that is a part of life and we have to accept things the way they happen with us.
Please rate the solution and provide your valuable feedback. Thanks