Instructions: Read the email below and then answer the questions Text of Email a
ID: 465562 • Letter: I
Question
Instructions:
Read the email below and then answer the questions
Text of Email about an office food collection project
To: All employees
From: Lisa Dawn
Subject: September 1 kickoff
September 1st will again mark the start of Hunger Action Month. Each year, the Central Pennsylvania Food Bank recognizes Hunger Action Month by holding a one-month long food drive competition among local area businesses. This year on September 1st we will once again mark the beginning of Hunger Action Month at our company. Last year’s competition brought in over 20,000 pounds of food!!!!!! That roughly equals 26,000 meals for families in Central PA! Thank you for your participation and commitment to end hunger in our community!!!!!!!
Penn National Insurance will once again participate in the Corporate Food Challenge August 30 through September 24. Last year, we brought in 1,798 pounds of food! Our goal for this year is 2,500 pounds! You can help change the lives of many families in our community who are having difficulty putting food on the table during these tough economic times.
Bins will be placed in the lobby, and once again we will have competitions each week to see which department will bring in the heaviest amount of food.
Assignment:
1. Provide a general critique of this email.
2. What is the writer’s objective?
3. Has the writer achieved her objective?
4. If not, what would you change to help the document achieve the writer’s objective?
5. Imagine that you received this email over the weekend, and did not see it until first thing Monday morning, in a crowded email inbox filled with dozens of emails. What key element is missing from this email that could result in recipients not bothering to open and read it?
Explanation / Answer
One general critique is there is a serious lack of flow of content in the e-mail. The sender wants to convey something very important ( regarding the hunger strike), but he missed the flow of content and overall message was unable to convey easily. Witers objective is to inform all employees and to request them to participate in the hunger action, in order to collect food for economically lower class people. Two organisational names are mentioned in the mail. One is Pennsylvania Food Bank and other is Penn national insurance. Through the content it is somewhat clear that Penn national insurance is the organisational in which sender is addressing to. No, the writer couldn’t achieve the objective in the right way.Starting from the subject of mail, there is ambiguity about the content. September Kick off!!! Subject could have been better in terms of addressing the concern topic. The content could have been much simpler and precise rather than giving unwanted examples. I would change the subject of mail to September Hunger Action Month participation. Then content will more crisp and to the point like what we intended, what achieve so far in last year and what the current target and how the route map for the plan is formulated for this year. Key words: Hunger Action month, amount of food.Not many key words are there in the mail to identify the subject or concerned matter.