Message Strategies: Making Negative Announcements [LO-4] The following e-mail me
ID: 352385 • Letter: M
Question
Message Strategies: Making Negative Announcements [LO-4] The following e-mail message about travel budget cutbacks at Black & Decker contains numerous blunders. Using what you’ve learned in the chapter, read the message carefully and analyze its faults. Then use the questions that follow to outline and write an improved message.
We need you to start using some of the budget suggestions we are going to issue as a separate memorandum. These include using videoconference equipment instead of traveling to meetings, staying in cheaper hotels, arranging flights for cheaper times, and flying from less-convenient but also less-expensive suburban airports. The company needs to cut travel expenses by fifty percent, just as we’ve cut costs in all departments of Black & Decker. This means you’ll no longer be able to stay in fancy hotels and make last-minute, costly changes to your travel plans. You’ll also be expected to avoid hotel phone surcharges. Compose your e-mail offline when you’re in the hotel. And never return a rental car with an empty tank! That causes the rental agency to charge us a premium price for the gas they sell when they fill it up upon your return. You’ll be expected to make these changes in your travel habits immediately. M. Juhasz Travel & Meeting Services
Revise the message with a stronger "you" attitude, include a more diplomatic opening and the use of lists to simplify reading. Since employees will read it when traveling, be sure to make it mobile friendly.
Explanation / Answer
The message here is very blunt and written in an authoritative tone. This will misalign and demotivate the employees. There need to be a stronger sense of 'You' rather than I. Also it needs to be crisp and clear
Rewritten message
Hi All
Greetings
As you are all aware of our current position and the way rising costs have impacted us all. I would like to request you to please adhere to the following guidelines on official travel. I will require your full support in achieving the goal of reducing travel expenses by 50%.
1. Use Video conferencing as much as possible
2. Make travel plans beforehand to cut out last min extra expenses
3. Booking in 3 star hotels as compared to 5 star hotel
4. Compose emails offline
5. do not return a rental car on an empty tank
I sincerely hope that you all will comply and help us all in achieving our goal.
Thanks
M Juhasz travel and meeting services