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I need to fix some grammar error, and proof reading I was born and raise in a ve

ID: 3449388 • Letter: I

Question

I need to fix some grammar error, and proof reading
I was born and raise in a very traditional religious community. I still remember some of the unforgettable memory. Every Sunday morning, I would wake up at seven in the morning and prepare to go to Sunday school. Sunday school is not just only nursery, it helps church to achieve the purpose of the church. More importantly, they train us to become a good disciple of God and glorify God. Therefore, I was raised communally with the philosophy of simple living and high thinking. We didn’t watch TV or listen to pop music and were aware that popular culture was something that didn’t sit well with our value system. The goal of our community devotion is to attain consciousness through ethical living and spiritual devotion. Devotees do not gamble, ingest alcohol or drugs, including caffeine, and restrain from sex except within marriage for the purposes of procreation. From the devotion, I believed God has given me the gift of freedom, but I make my own choice to belief in God for everything. I believe nothing is happened without God purpose. Also, I believe that I shall not worry and trust in God no matter what. Therefore, a sense of worry, anxiety or stress took away much faster from my life.

         There was sometimes I had an academic pressure to perform beyond natural ability such as going to college will success in the future and good grades will consider you as a smart man. Yet, I am one of ninety percent of teen mental illnesses attributed to stress because I takes it so serious and pressure myself to get things done. In addition, I often worried of dealing with things sensibly and realistically in a way that is based on practical rather than theoretical considerations. However, I now only stand to live as a simple life. Like, God will help me see the things when I just believe in himself. As I read an ancient bible verse, for example, Isaiah 41:10 about the promises of God, claim that over my life. Freedom from addictions, deliverance from sin and evil, financial provision, hope for lost and hurting family and friends, overcoming depression, recovering a marriage, good health, healing, being free from fear and anxiety, strength, and many more are the blessings and gifts that God promises to provide for those who believe in Him. Being in nature of God brings me peace. For example, I enjoy relaxing on the beach and feeling the vast depths of the ocean. The sound of the ocean reminds me of the cosmic sound of OM. The waves going in and out remind me that everything passes. When I look up at the stars, I saw the marvel at the beauty of creation. My achievements make me happy. When I accomplish my goals, I feel proud of myself and enjoy giving myself rewards for my success.

Explanation / Answer

I was born and brought-up in a very traditional religious community. I still remember some of the unforgettable events that linger in my memory. Every Sunday morning, I would wake up at seven in the morning and go to Sunday school. Sunday school is not just a nursery but it helps the church achieve its purpose of existence. More importantly, they train us to become a good devotee of God and glorify God through our acts. Therefore, I was raised in a religious set-up with the philosophy of simplicity. We were not allowed to watch TV or listen pop music and were persuaded to believe that popular culture was something that didn’t suit our value system. The goal of our community devotion was to attain consciousness through ethical living and spiritual activities. Devotees were expected not to gamble, consume alcohol or drugs and abstain from sex except within the marriage for the purpose of creating life. From the religious lessons, I learnt that God has given me the gift of freedom but I should make my own choice in believing in anything, including God. I was made to believe that nothing ever happens outside the will of God but at the same I also believe that I shall not worry about the will of God. This new dimension in my perspective has resulted in removal of worry, anxiety and stress from my life because I don’t feel guilty of making decisions that dissatisfy God.

         There were times when I had to go through the normal academic pressure to perform beyond my natural ability by stressing that going to college will make one successful in the future and good grades are considered to weigh a person’s smartness. Yet, I am one of the ninety percentage of teens who undergo this kind of stress because I take it very seriously and push myself to fulfill those expectations. In addition, I am often worried about dealing things sensibly and realistically basing things on the person’s abilities and environment rather than basing it on theoretical considerations. However, I have now decided to live a simple life. I have also taken a perspective where I believe that God will help me see things and do things when I believe in him. I read an ancient bible verse from Isaiah 41:10 about the promises of God such as, freedom from addictions, sin and evil, financial provision, overcoming depression, recovering a marriage, good health, healing, being free from fear and anxiety, strength, and many more. Being with God or believing in God brings me peace. For example, I enjoy relaxing on the beach and feel the vast ocean. The sound of the ocean reminds me of the cosmic sound of OM. The waves that reach the shore and getting back to the sea remind me that everything in life, are passing clouds. When I look up at the stars, I could see the marvel and beauty of God’s creation. My achievements make me happy and proud, so, when I accomplish my goals, I reward myself with gifts.